Memoir Comics Troubles
A few years ago I got one of those free Skillshare trials and took some classes on memoir writing and how it’d affect the other people in your life. I’m scared! I think this held me back from making my big autobio comic for a long time, the fear of making people in my life angry with me or feeling misrepresented.
Thankfully I talked to my Mum about this block. She’s a writer herself, and her advice was to change the plan from making one huge autobiography comic, to a collection of memoir comics. That way, I get to leave things out, focus on themes, and play with a bunch of different art styles! My final project for getting my BA in Comics and Concept Art in 2022 was a collection of one or two page comics or illustrations, a few of which were autobiographical, under the name ‘Death Zine’ (as they all circled around the theme of death!). I had cracked the code that my brain works best when it’s not held to a long-term sameness. When I decided to do the same with my memoirs, it felt like a large wall in my ability to start came down!
The wall’s still there though, in different brick shapes - will leaving out certain things make included events make less sense, or feel like they’re ‘missing something’? Will I include the wrong things and still make people I love angry, or hurt? Should I ask everyone before I feature them, no matter how vaguely? And how long can I look at old photos, letters, social media posts, before falling into PTSD/time-weird city?
Some of these questions will take practice and some will just take a good sit-down-&-think. I’m just glad I’m getting started! I’m hoping to have at least 10 pages fully done by early April, and another 5-10 thumbnailed, so that I can submit it to the First Graphic Novel Award. Having a deadline for this event helps, especially as it’s run every other year!
I’ve made semi-autobiographical short comics about very heavy things before, but with a layer of detachment. In ‘Hurry’ I represent all my own psychotic experiences of that specific represented time as one creature, one that I never actually hallucinated. In ‘Hearing Test’ the lead looks different to how I looked, has no featured name, doesn’t speak. I like that no-one knows in those comics what panels are straight from my own memory and which are something new. In these memoir comics it’ll just be me, no shield or deniability.
I thought that was what I wanted, a pure link between me and the world where I could express my entire life perfectly as it happened to me, and be fully understood. But now I’m still questioning if I should work under a fake name!
If anyone has advice, I’d love to hear it in the comments, or direct messages on social media (see ‘About’ page for links). More than anything I want advice from people who’ve published memoirs or autobiographies, comics or written. I should read more interviews, watch more classes!
I’m enjoying how these pages are turning out, but wow it’s so much mental work. I’m so tired! The fear of regretting things and the unexpected pride in how the pages look so far and my ideas, I feel like I’m doing DIY therapy (while also doing intense irl therapy). Or maybe this is all a sign that I’m taking my comics way too seriously hahah!! Grateful for my family & friends for keeping me engaged with current life too and the world outside drawing and past stuff.